


helpless

by elphabun



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Crushes, M/M, Pining, Sakumo is very embarrassing for poor Kakashi, all of their friends are done with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elphabun/pseuds/elphabun
Summary: All Kakashi wants is to ask out Obito Uchiha, Slytherin's best chaser. Is that so hard?(Yes, yes it is)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Will be a two-parter. This was actually really fun to write and I need more Naruto Hogwarts aus now.

      Kakashi scowls as his friends laugh at him. He leans back over the bannister, trying to block them out. Maybe he can transfer to Durmstrang and never have to talk to these traitors ever again. That would be amazing.

     A hand grabs his arm and pulls him upright. “Come on Kakashi, you know we're just teasing,” Kurenai laughs.

     He hates her. He hates her so, so much.

     “I think it's really cute actually,” the Hufflepuff adds.

     And oh god, he hates her even more. He isn't _cute,_ nothing about him is cute. He scowls harder and looks away as Gai and Asuma continue to laugh at his expense, those traitors.

     “Yes, it's wonderful!” Gai practically shouts, and they really need to move out of the hall, people are giving them looks and Kakashi doesn't want anyone else to know about this.

     “Shut up Gai,” he grumbles. “Why don't you go find your boyfriend. I'm sure Genma will actually want to hear you talk.”

     Gai makes an exaggerated face. “So cruel, Kakashi,” he says flinging his arms about. “I'm just expressing my joy at your newfound feelings!”

     Kakashi groans and leans back over the railing again. _Please make him stop. Please, anything make him stop._

     “What's this about Kakashi having feelings?” A teasing voice asks from nearby.

     Oh god no. No, this is the worst possible person to ever hear any of this.

     “What happened, did he get an E and feel heartbroken? Dismayed? An actual emotion other than smug or conceited?” Obito Uchiha continues, walking closer, and Kakashi wants to disappear; he can't do this anymore.

     The Slytherin is slightly disheveled, obviously just come from Herbology, and Kakashi wants to cry. No one should look that appealing with mud splattering their face and neck (and oh that neck– except that's weird, Kakashi, stop).

     He grimaces and leans even more over the rail, praying this ends soon, as everyone laughs around him.

     His foot slips, a rush of air, and then he's falling, and he can't breathe, can't think–

     “Levicorpus!” Someone shouts, and he's lowered gently to the ground. Kakashi's vision stabilizes and he sees Professor Orochimaru standing over him, a furious worry in his eyes that Kakashi denies any warmth about.

     “Are you alright? Do you need the hospital wing?” The man asks, frowning (and damn it, Professor Orochimaru is definitely going to be letting Kakashi’s dad know about this).

     Kakashi shakes his head. “I'm fine,” he mumbles. “I just tripped.” He can't let his dad know that he'd gotten overwhelmed by a boy and fallen. His father would be insufferable.

     The professor narrows his eyes and looks up to the third floor. “Mhm.”

     How the man can put that much condescending judgement into a single noise, Kakashi doesn't know. But he kind of wants to learn. He looks up as well, and sees his friends looking down, panicked. And Obito. Obito's looking down as well, worry clear on his face from all the way down here.

     Kakashi groans and drops his head back to the floor, cursing life.

* * *

 

     “Hatake!” A voice calls from behind Kakashi and he stops, a sick feeling rising in his stomach. _Oh no._ He quickly runs a hand through his hair, trying to smooth it out or at least make it less messy, then turns around.

     “Yeah?” He asks as nonchalantly as he can, which isn't much. He probably has a stupid look on his face.

     Obito frowns at him from above crossed arms, and damn does that look hot. “Are you alright?” The other boy asks, shifting from foot to foot. Kakashi doesn't know what to say in the face of this unexpected concern, but his heart races and his palms are sweaty.

      _Damn it Kakashi, get ahold of yourself!_ He thinks furiously, trying to come up with a response that doesn't sound stupid. He clears his throat and says, “Yeah I'm fine. Healer Tsunade cleared me.”

     There's an awkward pause, and Kakashi squirms a bit. Finally Obito says, “Alright, that's good. Well, have a good day.” He turns away to leave, and Kakashi lurches forward. “Wait!” He blurts, and then feels heat rise in his face. He's very glad of his scarf, right then. Obito turns back around and gives him a confused look.

     Kakashi hesitates then asks, “Do you want to study for the Potions test with me?”

     Obito's face twists and Kakashi panics. _Crap, he doesn't want to, now he thinks I'm weird._ He's just about to brush it off and say nevermind, but Obito's lips twist into an almost-smile and he goes, “I don't know why _you_ would need to study, but sure, maybe later this week.” He smiles awkwardly and then is off down the hallway.

    Kakashi lets out a breath of relief. Then he realizes, _Obito said yes!_ He grins under his scarf and turns around, intent on finding Professor Minato and telling him that yes, he finally asked Obito to spend time with him. And he said yes!

     Kakashi is so caught up in his euphoria that he almost–almost–passes by his father without even noticing. He stops short, embarrassed already by the sight of Sakumo standing outside of a classroom with a goofy smile on his face.

    “What are you doing here?” He asks quietly, trying not to seem as though he's talking to him. Sakumo grins. “Kakashi! It's good to see you,” he says, then glances back at the door. He runs a hand through his hair and leans forward. “Say, do you know when this class ends?”

     Kakashi looks between his father’s pathetically hopeful smile and the classroom door– Professor Orochimaru’s classroom, he realizes with a dawning sense of horror. He cringes and tries not to think about it. Which is made difficult by Sakumo sending a disgustingly sappy look at the door. He really hopes that's not what he looks like when he's looking at (thinking about) Obito.

    “Any minute,” he says and backs away, not wanting to see his father drool all over Kakashi’s runes professor. It's mortifying and he gets enough of it at home.

     Too late, he’s walked three steps away when the door opens and a crowd of students flood out. Kakashi shrinks back against the wall before he's crushed by the stampede. He wrinkles his nose and makes a face beneath his scarf. Ugh, second years.

     The last student barely gets out of the doorway before Sakumo is tripping over his feet to get inside. Kakashi slaps his forehead. Geez. How his dad has ever gotten a date is a mystery. Kakashi hopes he turns out more like his mother in this aspect of personality. He wants to leave and pretend none of this happened and completely ignore Professor Orochimaru like normal, but this is his _dad_.

     He walks cautiously to the doorway and is witness to Sakumo Hatake, Head Auror with over 20 years of experience, blushing and flirting terribly like he's a teenager again. Kakashi's face is burning with shame. _How._ How is his father so talented, but then so not?

     “Professor,” Sakumo greets in a very unsubtle flirty way. Kakashi is going to barf right now, he swears.

     “Head Auror Hatake,” Professor Orochimaru says, surprised but not uninviting. “What are you doing here?”

     Sakumo beams and leans forward. “Well, Professor, I have a case I'm working on that I could really use your expertise with. You are the best Runes researcher in the country.” He emphasizes that last bit, and it's true, but he doesn't have to be so sickening about it.

     Professor Orochimaru raises an eyebrow and– is that a blush? Is he blushing? Kakashi is not prepared to deal with this, he’s really not.

     The professor smirks lightly and says, “I suppose I can spare some time for you. After all, you are the Auror Department Head, and what sort of citizen would I be if I refused?” He ends the question with a different sort of smirk and leans into Sakumo.

     He's flirting back. Kakashi is going to be scarred for good. He will never look at Professor Orochimaru normally ever again.

     “Would this Saturday at twelve work?” Sakumo asks and ruffles his hair again, like a loser (Kakashi is completely ignoring that he does that all the time. He's not a loser).

     Orochimaru nods and pushes his hair behind his ear. “It will. Now if you'll excuse me I have a class,” he gently guides Sakumo towards the door. Sakumo, for his part, looks overjoyed at being manhandled by the smaller man.

     Kakashi moves away from the door and starts to walk down the hall, when his father is shoved (politely) out of the classroom and the door is shut behind him. Sakumo stands outside the door for a moment with a dopey, dazed smile before he catches Kakashi's eye and shakes himself out of it. _Too late to run now,_ Kakashi bemoans internally.

     “Kakashi, you're still here!” Sakumo beams and walks up to him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. He has to stoop down to do so and Kakashi is flushing and scowling even more now. He tries to shove his dad off, but is unsuccessful.

     “Get off of me,” he protests, then winces when his voice gets unnaturally high. Puberty is awful, and he didn't just squeak. At all.

     Sakumo laughs and squeezes Kakashi's shoulders. “Oh all right. I'll leave, since you obviously don't want to spend any time with your wonderful father.”

     Kakashi refuses to feel guilty. “I have class,” he says and ducks out from under Sakumo’s arm, aware that it's only because his dad is letting him.

     Sakumo snorts. “This is your free period,” he says, and when exactly did he memorize Kakashi's schedule, Kakashi wants to know.

     He stays silent and crosses his arms, trying to do the glare that Professor Madara does. Sakumo chuckles, and damn it that wasn't what he was going for.

     “Ah well, I'll see you at the holidays,” Sakumo says.

     “Bye,” Kakashi replies, and bumps his shoulder to his father’s.

     Sakumo smiles and departs after a hair ruffle. Kakashi continues walking to Professor Minato's class and tries to put that entire encounter out of his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> One more chapter upcoming, but ao3 mobile doesn't let me mark incomplete.


End file.
